Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
