What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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