i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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