i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
