I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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