the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize