I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
