Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize