My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
