Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This house was built for laser tag.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
