Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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