A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
