He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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