He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
