dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
one two three fourrrrnication!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
farters have to be the big spoon...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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