Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
