There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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