just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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