I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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