My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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