This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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