i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
