so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
this boner is exhausting
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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