At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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