You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize