Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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