we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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