The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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