i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
