our cab driver is having phone sex.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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