I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
