Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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