I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I love you. Go after that dick
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
