I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
