I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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