They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
