i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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