He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize