tell your sister to shave her snatch
time to smoke my breakfast
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
