6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
