how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize