Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
