he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
