I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
