Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
