I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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