remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
