Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
