i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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