No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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