If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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