I'm going to jail i love you
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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