why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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