Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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