You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
