I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
