I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
