This girl is more easily done than said...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize