I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
