I CAN MOONWALK!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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